HW 36- Pregnancy and Birth Stories

The first person that I spoke to about her experience with pregnancy was my mother. When my mother first found out she was pregnant, she was working as an actress on a show. She noticed that she hadn't had her period in an unusually long time and was feeling a bit odd, so she took a home pregnancy test, which read positive. Then she proceeded to go to the local clinic in Houston, Texas, where she was working, who confirmed her pregnancy. She continued to work on the show she was doing for three months, but did not stop working because of her pregnancy. It just so happened that her show was closing, and so she figured that it would be best not to look for work for the time being. Her belly started growing noticeably at about five months after she found out she was pregnant. After this point, my parents began taking pre-natal classes on the Bradley method... in other words on how to naturally deliver me with the use of as few drugs as possible. Ironically, a large assortment of drugs ended up being used for the delivery for things such as inducing labor and the doctors fear of my heart rate being slightly odd. She told me about how throughout the 9 month period people everywhere were giving her extra amounts of attention, which was not surprising to me at all.

The description of the process of pregnancy that my mother gave me fit completely into my initial viewpoint of the subject, probably because it is the story of my own birth. Honestly, the way my mother was talking about the whole situation, it seemed like none of it was that big of a deal to her. This might be because she had a good man and friends who were by her side the whole time, a gift which should not be taken for granted considering the amount of people who are not so fortunate. I also think that the situation of my mother's pregnancy fits in perfectly with my idea that the best time to have children is 25 to 35, because after 25 many people are responsible enough to handle it, but if you wait too long your child won't have grandparents for long. My mother was definitely responsible enough, and it showed because her and my father did practically everything right.

Naturally, the second person I felt inclined to talk to about pregnancy was my father. After speaking to him, I realized that the mental experiences of both my mother and father were pretty similar. (obviously not the physical experiences however) My father was very nervous about the whole situation, although he was not unprepared. Througout a large part of the nine month period, my father took notes during my mother's pregnancy as well as in the classes they took on the Bradley method. He also said that the process of my mother giving birth was painful for him as well, but emotionally, because it was hard for him to look at my mother while she was in so much pain. Another thing my father told me was that he felt like neither of them were giving eachother as much attention as they were before the pregnancy, because discussion of the baby was always popping up. This reminded me of a situation that I knew with my friend's sister where the father of the child left the mother alone because he didn't want her attention on the baby instead of him. However he was obviously not ready to be a father, when my father certainly was.

According to my initial opinions about birth, my father was not the stereotypical male figure during my mother's pregnancy. I determined from speaking to both of my parents that my dad did a great job of supporting my mother the whole time, and also tried to help out by learning as much as he could about taking care of newborns as well as the process of the birth itself for when the event arrived. The most interesting thing in my opinion about speaking with my father was discovering the amount of notes he took. There were seven pages of detailed notes with marked times starting at 2 in the morning when my mother was in the hospital. He describes how he can now understand "why husbands/fathers might back away from the event," and he also explains how he would have been hopeless if not for the classes that the two of them had taken together.

After talking to my family and discovering the details of a rather mature handling of the 9 month period of pregnancy and birth, I decided to talk to a friend of mine who was only 17 years old when she gave birth a couple months ago. As expected, she told me it was physically the most painful experience of her life. Other than that, the only other thing I could have predicted about her experience was that she was extremely surprised when she found out that she was pregnant. She told me she was not sure when the child was conceived, so she naturally was also not sure how along she was when she found out but she guessed it was about 2 or 3 months. Her boyfriend, who is also 17 years old, remained by her side the whole time. In fact, he did not even mention the possibility of abortion to her, and when she finally brought it up as something she would prefer not to do, he agreed 100 percent. This was practically shocking to me; its as if this 17 year old boy who has not even finished high school yet feels that he is ready and wants a child. Anyway, she described the moment that she first held her son in her arms as "the best fucking moment of my life!" (please excuse the language) Before this moment, however, she told me that she was feeling stressed out all the time and also depressed on occasion.

I think that this is possibly the least stereotypical story of birth that involves teen parents I have ever heard. The fact that the father of the child did not even bring up the option of abortion, and that when it was brought up he opposed it completely, is astonishing to me. I know that if I were in that boy's situation, I definitely would have at least brought up the idea of abortion and I'm certainly not ready to be a father! It seems that people can say a lot of things before they are actually thrown into the life of being a potential mother and father, but when it happens, one might feel very different. It also seems like it depends on when you believe the child is alive. The girl I asked said that she thinks her boyfriend had told her that he believes the baby is alive practically right after it is conceived. This would explain why he did not consider the option of abortion...to him it would feel like he was killing his own child.

The topic I would like to explore further is how the increased amount of teen girls becoming mothers currently is effecting both the lives of the parents as well as their children. However I am also interested in looking at the reasons that pro-life supporters believe abortion should not be a legal option for anyone.

HW 35- Other People's Perspectives 1

Although I was not able to see the old friend of mine who had just recently given birth in person, I did manage to get in touch with them over the computer. However, this case of a teenage girl giving birth did not turn out to be the stereotypical teenage mom story I had expected. Typically, you would expect the father of the child to realize the mistake he has made once he realizes the 17 year old girl he impregnated is going to have a baby and leave both the child and the mother to fend for themselves. However, this boy chose to stay with his girlfriend through the whole process, and from the looks of it he will be there for the child as well. "I wasn't ready to have Matthew, and if it weren't for Victor I don't know if I would have been able to make it. My family was supportive of course, but most guys wouldn't stick with a girl in my situation, but he was always there for me."

Another person I know who has recently had a baby spoke more about the physical pain of the process. She is a sister of a friend of mine, and she was 21 years old when she had the baby. She told me that she was dealing with contractions for an extremely long time and didn't get any sleep for days because the pain was so bad. Unfortunately, her boyfriend left her when he found out about the baby. Finally, I talked to one of my friends who is a guy about the issue. He told me about how he had impregnated a girl by accident and had tried to convince her to get an abortion because he knew that he was not ready to be a father, but she ended up having a miscarriage anyway. However, he did tell me that even if the girl did decide to have the baby, he would not have left them alone.

Although I haven't spoken to that many people, it seems like one of the patterns in this generation as far as birth is concerned is that more fathers have a desire to stay with the mothers and the children. I would assume that the reason for this is because so many of the children of this generation are raised by single mothers. and therefore many people do not want their kids to have to deal with the same situation that they did when they were younger. All of the people I have spoken to are pro-choice, and support the option of abortion mainly because of the possiblity of birth as a result of rape or young teens being careless. Also, the people I have spoken to almost all agree that birth is a beautiful thing, but not necessarily physically. The concept of new life being created and released into the world is what makes these people say that.

HW 34- Some Initial Thoughts On Birth

When I think of birth, the first bubbles that come to mind are issues such as abortion, the rate of teen pregnancy that is currently so high, and the people I know who have recently experienced the process of giving birth. Then I started to think about how all of these things are tied together. Although one of the people I know who just gave birth was 21, which can be (in my opinion) a perfectly reasonable age to raise a child, the other was only 17. This idea led me to the question of why people do not choose to get an abortion when their living situation clearly is not ideal for supporting a child, or the parents are not mature enough. My brainstorming on answering this question included the idea that maybe the mother of the child felt some sort of attachment to it... after it is their baby, but this is not something that I will ever be able to understand fully. Another reason could be that they feel bad about robbing the fetus of the potential it has when it grows up to become a "self-functioning" human like us, or that they feel like they are killing the baby.

The thought about whether or not it is right to "kill the baby" before it is born brings up a lot of other questions. For instance, after how many months is a baby considered alive, or is it not until it leaves the mother's body? This is a key point in the common argument of whether abortion should be a legal option or not (which is a completely different argument from whether abortion is morally right or not) I am also wondering what kind of dominant social practices there are that are associated with birth that are not quite as "normal" as we take for granted, because there have been multiple "weirdnesses" in the last two units. Why are almost all the children born today born in hospitals? And if the answer is simply for hygenic or medical reasons, then why would any child be born at home? I'm sure those two question could potentially relate to our previous unit on illness and dying, especially financially. Considering the amount of money that is invested into the care of the dying, how much money is invested into the care of those who are just being born, and how are they treated? It is clear that I have many questions involving birth, and am curious to see what I will find out.