HW 36- Pregnancy and Birth Stories

The first person that I spoke to about her experience with pregnancy was my mother. When my mother first found out she was pregnant, she was working as an actress on a show. She noticed that she hadn't had her period in an unusually long time and was feeling a bit odd, so she took a home pregnancy test, which read positive. Then she proceeded to go to the local clinic in Houston, Texas, where she was working, who confirmed her pregnancy. She continued to work on the show she was doing for three months, but did not stop working because of her pregnancy. It just so happened that her show was closing, and so she figured that it would be best not to look for work for the time being. Her belly started growing noticeably at about five months after she found out she was pregnant. After this point, my parents began taking pre-natal classes on the Bradley method... in other words on how to naturally deliver me with the use of as few drugs as possible. Ironically, a large assortment of drugs ended up being used for the delivery for things such as inducing labor and the doctors fear of my heart rate being slightly odd. She told me about how throughout the 9 month period people everywhere were giving her extra amounts of attention, which was not surprising to me at all.

The description of the process of pregnancy that my mother gave me fit completely into my initial viewpoint of the subject, probably because it is the story of my own birth. Honestly, the way my mother was talking about the whole situation, it seemed like none of it was that big of a deal to her. This might be because she had a good man and friends who were by her side the whole time, a gift which should not be taken for granted considering the amount of people who are not so fortunate. I also think that the situation of my mother's pregnancy fits in perfectly with my idea that the best time to have children is 25 to 35, because after 25 many people are responsible enough to handle it, but if you wait too long your child won't have grandparents for long. My mother was definitely responsible enough, and it showed because her and my father did practically everything right.

Naturally, the second person I felt inclined to talk to about pregnancy was my father. After speaking to him, I realized that the mental experiences of both my mother and father were pretty similar. (obviously not the physical experiences however) My father was very nervous about the whole situation, although he was not unprepared. Througout a large part of the nine month period, my father took notes during my mother's pregnancy as well as in the classes they took on the Bradley method. He also said that the process of my mother giving birth was painful for him as well, but emotionally, because it was hard for him to look at my mother while she was in so much pain. Another thing my father told me was that he felt like neither of them were giving eachother as much attention as they were before the pregnancy, because discussion of the baby was always popping up. This reminded me of a situation that I knew with my friend's sister where the father of the child left the mother alone because he didn't want her attention on the baby instead of him. However he was obviously not ready to be a father, when my father certainly was.

According to my initial opinions about birth, my father was not the stereotypical male figure during my mother's pregnancy. I determined from speaking to both of my parents that my dad did a great job of supporting my mother the whole time, and also tried to help out by learning as much as he could about taking care of newborns as well as the process of the birth itself for when the event arrived. The most interesting thing in my opinion about speaking with my father was discovering the amount of notes he took. There were seven pages of detailed notes with marked times starting at 2 in the morning when my mother was in the hospital. He describes how he can now understand "why husbands/fathers might back away from the event," and he also explains how he would have been hopeless if not for the classes that the two of them had taken together.

After talking to my family and discovering the details of a rather mature handling of the 9 month period of pregnancy and birth, I decided to talk to a friend of mine who was only 17 years old when she gave birth a couple months ago. As expected, she told me it was physically the most painful experience of her life. Other than that, the only other thing I could have predicted about her experience was that she was extremely surprised when she found out that she was pregnant. She told me she was not sure when the child was conceived, so she naturally was also not sure how along she was when she found out but she guessed it was about 2 or 3 months. Her boyfriend, who is also 17 years old, remained by her side the whole time. In fact, he did not even mention the possibility of abortion to her, and when she finally brought it up as something she would prefer not to do, he agreed 100 percent. This was practically shocking to me; its as if this 17 year old boy who has not even finished high school yet feels that he is ready and wants a child. Anyway, she described the moment that she first held her son in her arms as "the best fucking moment of my life!" (please excuse the language) Before this moment, however, she told me that she was feeling stressed out all the time and also depressed on occasion.

I think that this is possibly the least stereotypical story of birth that involves teen parents I have ever heard. The fact that the father of the child did not even bring up the option of abortion, and that when it was brought up he opposed it completely, is astonishing to me. I know that if I were in that boy's situation, I definitely would have at least brought up the idea of abortion and I'm certainly not ready to be a father! It seems that people can say a lot of things before they are actually thrown into the life of being a potential mother and father, but when it happens, one might feel very different. It also seems like it depends on when you believe the child is alive. The girl I asked said that she thinks her boyfriend had told her that he believes the baby is alive practically right after it is conceived. This would explain why he did not consider the option of abortion...to him it would feel like he was killing his own child.

The topic I would like to explore further is how the increased amount of teen girls becoming mothers currently is effecting both the lives of the parents as well as their children. However I am also interested in looking at the reasons that pro-life supporters believe abortion should not be a legal option for anyone.