HW 19- Family Perspectives on Illness and Dying

In my family, there is certainly a history of disease. On both my mother and father's sides of the family, everyone is highly prone to skin cancer because of how fair skinned we are and there have been numerous cases on both sides of the family. Another issue in my family has been heart disease, but the only confirmed case of that that I can think of in my family was my grandfather, who used to smoke a lot and did not eat on a particularly healthy diet. Because of these diseases, my family has had a lot of experience visiting friends and family in the hospital, which has led to me visiting the hospital quite a bit as well. The experiences that my parents have had dealing with illness and dying are the kind of things that make me afraid of growing older.

My father is the youngest of a family of six siblings; he is even nine minutes younger than his twin sister. His father died when he was only two years old and was raised by just his mom for his whole childhood. His mother (my grandmother) was in an accident not to long after I was born where she hit her head so hard that she began to internally bleed into her brain. For as long as I can remember, although she was able to think just as quickly as she had before, something happened where she could not get the words out, and the only word I ever remember her saying was "yes." She was ill for her entire life, but every time I saw my father around her he would always act and look perfectly happy, just like the rest of my family. I was young, so I unfortunately did not do as good of a job looking happy and I really just felt awkward around her... which I came to regret deeply when she finally passed away.

My mother has also had her fair share of dealing with illness and dying. Her father had two heart attacks in his lifetime, and did not survive long after the second one. However, unlike my fathers family, everyone on my mothers side lives out of range for us to visit often; in California. So my mother did not have to pretend like she was not worried. However, back when my godfather was in a car accident that nearly killed him, she immediately left to go see him. Not that this is an unreasonable norm for dealing with the ill and dying, but the response of my family to someone who is sick has been to immediately go out and visit them in the hospital, even if they are 2000 miles away like my godfather was. Another good friend of my mothers was diagnosed with ALS recently, which completely took away his ability to move and speak. I remember visiting him with my family a few times, and watching as she was as supporting and kind beside the hospital bed as I have ever seen her.