In order to understand the perspectives of the people around me regarding the care of the dead, I figured it would be easiest to first interview a friend that I am very close to. (however our family backgrounds are radically different) The first question that I asked him was "what do you know about the way dead people are treated after they have passed away?" He responded by saying "I mean, when I think of people dying, the first things that pop into my head are a funeral and a will. Now that I think about it, considering how greedy people are in America, it is surprising that there is enough respect to allow people to give all there stuff to whoever they want even after they are dead, cause' they don't really have any control over who gets what after that." This was an interesting comment for me, because I had forgotten all about wills in my previous thoughts and responses. When I asked about his experience with the care of the dead, he said that he had been to 4 funerals in his life, but he was not really close to any of the people and therefore doesn't feel very sad or have any sentiments relating to the events. "Even though one of the people who died was my grandmother, she was on my moms side of the family, and I'm not close to them because...(I have been asked to not reveal this information)" Finally, I asked him about the different methods of dealing with bodies that he was aware of, and which way he would prefer for himself. "Umm, I guess only to be buried or to be burned, and at this point I have no idea what I would want."
The next person I spoke to was one of my cousin's, who I am not as close to as the friend I spoke to before. However, our experiences with the care of the dead are much more similar, having been to a funeral together. When I asked her what she has noticed about the care of the dead, she said, "Well, from what I've witnessed there is always a long church service intended to celebrate the life of the person who has passed. After that, the funeral takes place, but for Ma (our grandmother who was cremated) the cremation did not take place until at least a few weeks after the funeral, compared to burials which usually happen on the same day. Once all the tears are shed, there might be a sort of party with food and drinks to lighten the mood." This response was almost exactly what happened with my grandmothers funeral service. However, I did not attend the cremation (and never have) and my cousin did, so next I asked her about what she observed there. "It was very sad, even more so then the funeral, and it was also strange to watch a person being cremated. However, this ritual seemed slightly more appealing then being buried underground and rotting away forever. The whole process felt very...important." The last part of her comment was extremely thought provoking to me, so I asked how she felt about all this weight and importance being placed on the care of the dead. "I think that it is good to respect the dead. Even though I am not extremely religious, I still think it is good that people celebrate the lives of others after they have passed."
The last person that I decided to interview was one of my co-workers at my job. She is a few years older than me, and has a baby, so I thought her opinions would be interesting and different to hear about. After asking how she felt about the way the dead are cared for in America today, she responded, "I think its nice that almost everyone gets their own funeral and so many people attend out of respect, but I think that funerals have become looked at as such negative occasions, rather than focusing on celebrating the life of whoever it is that has died." The next question I had was, "I agree with you, but if your baby were to pass away right now God forbid, wouldn't you have a hard time keeping your head up?" "Now that you mention it, you're probably right. I would like to say that I would try to accept that she was in a better place with my father, but inside I know that it would tear me apart. I guess that explains why funerals are such sad occasions for most people." The last question I asked her was if she would prefer a cremation or a burial for herself. "At this point, I really don't know. I have never seen it happen before; my father was buried. I think I would want to learn more about it before making a decision, because the idea of my body rotting underground doesn't sound that appealing to me."
Each of the three people I chose to interview had both bubble responses as well as responses that required actual thought process. Many of these ideas went hand in hand with some of my own opinions, such as when my co-worker said that burial does not sound appealing but that she would want to learn more about the ways that the dead can be cared for before making a decision. I thought my first respondent's comment about the idea of wills was an interesting one and it was something I hadn't thought about before. Finally, I was surprised at how none of my respondents explicitly stated that they would want a burial, when it is definitely one of the most popular ways to deal with the dead.
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