HW 48- Family Perspectives on Care of the Dead

Although this assignment was posted before Easter when I saw quite a few of my older family members, I did not feel comfortable asking them questions about death and dead bodies at the time, so I decided to just speak to my parents. I started off by asking my father what he thinks of when he hears the words "death" and "after death" and he told me he immediately thinks of his mother and sister, and then sometimes starts to think about his father, who passed away when my father was only two years old. He told me that he knew the most popular methods of handling the bodies of those who have died are burial and cremation, but then he asked to himself, "However I'm not sure what happens to bodies that have been mutilated to the point where they do not even resemble humans any more, or bodies that have been cut into many pieces." As disturbing of a thought this is, it is also a pretty interesting one. When asked which way he would prefer to have his death dealt with, he immediately responded with cremation. He did acknowledge the fact that it is a less "green" method of caring for the dead, but that it was important to him that his ashes be kept by either my mother or myself.

I talked to my mother the next day. When I asked my mother what she thought of when hearing the words "death" and "after death" she said, "I think mostly of (a good family friend who recently passed) and my father, but then I start to think about religion and God and those kind of things." My mother also said the same thing as my father when asked about the ways she was aware of when caring for the dead, so I decided to ask her if there were any alternatives she would prefer. "Well, off the top of my head, I guess not, but maybe if I thought about it for a while I would be able to think of something more pleasant than either rotting underground or burning to ashes." My next question was which way she would prefer to be cared for after she passes away, and her opinion did not come nearly as quickly or clearly as my fathers. "Well...I'm sort of torn on this one. In my religion (Greek Orthodox Christian) cremation is not supported, but my personal opinion right now is that I don't really want to be buried either. At this point, I really can't say for sure."

The first interesting thing I noticed about both my mother and my father's opinions after interviewing them both is that the first thing they both thought of when hearing the words "death" and "after death" was people that were close to them and have now passed away. If they did think of some higher place and purpose for peoples lives or the afterlife, it was not until after they had acknowledged their dead friends and family in their minds. I find the same thing to be true for myself a lot of the time, which leads me to wonder if there is something about our society and the way we care for the dead that causes people to worry more about their friends and family then the concept of death itself. I also noticed that both of my parents seem to want, or at least lean towards, cremation instead of burial for themselves. I can only wonder if that has influence my opinion that I probably want to be cremated as well.